


you're safe like spring time

by Nailpolish3638



Category: Elite (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Nadia/Guzman is just background, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, season 1 fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22392079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nailpolish3638/pseuds/Nailpolish3638
Summary: Thanks, much obliged.--Hey. How much do you want? It’s good, you’ll see.--Omar/Ander centered season 1 reimagining in a soulmate au where the first words your soulmate says to you are written somewhere on your body.
Relationships: Ander Muñoz/Omar Shana, Guzmán Nunier Osuna/Nadia Shana
Comments: 6
Kudos: 187





	you're safe like spring time

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer- I didn't create this universe/these characters. 
> 
> ALSO- This is shamelessly Ander/Omar centered. The story doesn't go much into other characters or the ramifications of soulmates on their plot lines. That being said, just assume the whole Marina murder situation doesn’t happen. In this au, Nano and Marina are soulmates, and the whole pregnancy deal is reluctantly accepted in light of that, they don't need to keep the watch for the money, etc, etc. 
> 
> Title is from the Troye Sivan song _Lucky Strike_ , check it out, it always gives me Ander/Omar vibes.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

\- Omar -

 _Thanks, much obliged._ With a soulmark like that, Omar was always pretty positive his soulmate would be a customer at his parent’s store. The black ink was printed over his heart in a spiky scrawl, the first words his soulmate would ever say to him. When he was little, he assumed his soulmate would probably be a good Muslim girl, just like his parents always wanted. As he got older and started to realize he was more interested in the boys coming into the store than the girls- _his heart rate would rise when his fingers brushed theirs to give them their change from the register, wishing them a good day_ \- the idea of meeting his soulmate at the store started to fill him with dread. 

Because now there was no doubt in mind that his soulmate must be a boy. What would he do when some poor guy was just trying to buy his groceries and Omar bonded with him? No way he could let his parents know what was happening. But how would he hide it? That jolt of recognition that people always talked about when they met their soulmates.

And it shouldn’t even be a big deal, having a same sex soulmate- not anymore. Except he’d had the shit luck to be born into such a conservative family. 

Every society had its myths about where the soulmarks come from. God, or Mother Nature, or science. Omar had heard all the stories. There was a unit about soulmates in school almost every year. All that anyone knew for certain is that everyone had a mark somewhere on their body, their soulmate’s first words to them. 

Some people were born with them, if their soulmate was already alive. For others, it appeared on your body the day your soulmate was born. If a person was extremely unlucky, their mark would fade one day, turning grey when their soulmate died before they ever got the chance to meet them. Sometimes a new mark would appear, and sometimes not. No one liked to dwell on that possibility.

Once a pair had bonded through saying their first words, scientists could confirm the bond with lab tests. Apparently there was some chemical reaction, or DNA marker, Omar had never been the best student- he didn’t really understand the science. But it’s not like people really needed to run the tests that often. Most people just knew. 

The romance novels and soap operas showed people collapsing and clutching their soulmarks when they met and heard their words, but everyone knew that was just drama. Omar had seen a few couples meet and bond at school, and it hadn’t been that theatrical. Touching and emotional, sure, but not dramatic. Usually they’d say their first words, realize they were soulmates, and maybe hug or kiss. Teachers were always pretty lenient on the first day of school, when new students arrived and people were meeting for the first time. It was understood that a few bonds would probably happen.

Omar had also grown up hearing his parents’ version of the origin of soulmates. They weren’t too concerned about the science of it. They subscribed to the idea that soulmates were a sacred gift from God. And the thing is, Omar tended to believe that too. He just didn’t agree with their narrow beliefs about what kind of couples could be soulmates- or specifically what kind of couples absolutely could not be soulmates and therefore must be faking it. 

Some conservative cultures and conservative people, _like Omar’s parents_ , he thought bitterly, still believed that same sex soulbonds weren’t real- that same sex couples who claimed to be soulmates were just pretending for the attention, or the tax benefits, or because they enjoyed the ‘perversion’ of it. 

These days Omar prefers to just ignore the whole idea, pushing aside thoughts of his soulmate whenever he sees the mark on his chest in the mirror. In his darkest moments, when his parents have been spouting their crap about moral perversion, he hopes he never meets his soulmate. Because the thing was, just like pretty much all of society, Omar did believe soulbonds were sacred. And he didn’t want to wish a life of loneliness and being unbonded on whoever his soulmate was. But he also would never wish his parents’ hatred on the precious person out there who was meant for Omar. 

And it sure seemed like his life would just be easier without all the mess and anxiety. If he never met his soulmate, he’d never have to come out to his family. He’d never have to deal with the inevitable fallout.

It’s not like he was really suffering in the meantime. He wasn’t a monk. He met guys on hookup apps, and it was fine. He could live like this, he told himself. Well, he had to live like this, _what choice did he have?_ And if he was a little bit lonely, and a little bit fed up with having to hide those parts of himself, well- at least he still had a place to live for the time being. And at least he was starting to save up money to get out. 

He’d never imagined being a drug dealer, but he couldn’t deny the appeal of finally having savings of his own, finally starting to dream about a way out from under his parents’ rule. Maybe then it would actually be safe to meet his soulmate. So when he’d met some guys at his new school who said they could hook him up, he’d decided to give dealing a try.

\- Ander -

 _Hey. How much do you want? It’s good, you’ll see._ Ander always thought he’d meet his soulmate at a restaurant or a bar or something. During silly, wistful daydreams, he’d imagine meeting them at a gelato shop. He’d walk in and some cute guy with a dorky uniform on would tell him about their flavors that day. 

“Hey.”

He glances over as he unties his shoelaces in the locker room. It’s one of the new kids who got scholarships after the roof of their old school collapsed on them. Christian, he thinks. The one who’s been mooning over Carla and getting on Guzman’s nerves. 

Ander considers himself pretty desensitized to the beginning of his soulmark- _Hey._ It’s the beginning of a lot of people’s soulmarks. And it’s also the beginning of most conversations. Luckily he has more than just that one word scrawled delicately down his ribs, unlike some people who get stuck with only a generic greeting. So he rarely notices or gets his hopes up anymore when he hears it. It’s just not worth it to fry his nerves almost every time a new person greets him. But sometimes, when he meets a cute boy his age for the first time, he still gets the tiniest thrill of anticipation from the word, a little thought jumps to the front of his mind- _Maybe…could it be you?_

“You’re Ander, right?”

 _Well, there goes that_. Ander turns back to his shoes, but his attention is peaked at the sound of something hitting the ground. His eyes catch on the pot that just fell from Christian’s belongings. _Oh_ , he perked up. _This boy just got interesting again._

Christian tells him to meet after school and he’ll set Ander up with his dealer. 

\- Omar -

Christian calls him up, says he has a new friend from his fancy school who wants to buy. So Omar hops on his bike and heads to a deserted spot outside of town. 

When they meet up on the bridge over the reservoir and Omar hands the pot to ‘Mr. X,’ he’s completely taken aback by the pretty kid’s polite, “Thanks, much obliged.” His world tilts on its axis and his knees feel a little weak. The writing across his chest flares hot for a split second under his t-shirt, but he can barely tell the difference between the heat and the searing sense of _rightness_ he feels down to his soul. By the time his brain catches up with the swell of emotion to realize what’s going on- who this random rich boy buying pot from him really is to him- all he can think is: _No, no, no. This can’t be happening._

Panic rises inside him, but he tries to stay calm. He nods to Christian, flicks his eyes back to the other boy- his soulmate- one more time, searching, memorizing. Then he turns, swiftly making his way back down the stairs. _Not yet_ , he thinks. _I wasn’t supposed to meet you yet._

Adrenaline courses through him. He grabs his bike and starts peddling, trying to put distance between himself and the boy who had just thrown a wrench in his plans to make enough money to get away from his parents before they can find out that he’s gay. 

_It’s okay_ , he tells himself. Maybe no one has to know. He hadn’t said anything to the guy, had he? Maybe if he never saw him again, if he just played it cool and never spilled a word to anyone about what had happened, he wouldn’t have to face this. 

But as he rode away, the bridges getting smaller behind him, he wasn’t so sure his plan would work. He was already feeling an emptiness inside him, the ghost of the kid’s fingers brushing his.

\- Ander -

Ander’s nervous about buying drugs, but he’s also cautiously excited. Finally. Something he can do that’s just for him- a chance to let loose a little, escape from the dread of daily tennis practice and the boredom of school. He gives Guzman the slip after the last bell, saying he has to go train. He just wants to know what it’s like to be able to forget about things for a while.

The dealer bounds up the stairs, greets Christian, and waits silently for Ander’s money. The whole interaction takes a minute or so, and then Ander has officially bought drugs. _How anticlimactic_ , he thinks. But he’s not complaining. Now he can go home and get high and maybe ignore the pressure from his dad and his friends and society in general- the pressure to win trophies and fuck girls and get okay grades.

The pot does help him forget, but it also makes him brave. 

\- Omar -

 _Who knew this would be such a struggle?_ Omar had known that his family would never accept his soulmate, so he’d anticipated having to keep it a secret if he ever met them. But somehow he’d never considered what it would actually feel like. He was constantly a little preoccupied now; there was a low-level buzzing underneath his skin, reminding him that _he’d met his soulmate_. He was actually real and definitely a boy. A pretty boy, from what Omar remembers. His face is seared in Omar’s mind from their short interaction the other day. Omar aches to know more about him- his name, what he likes, the sound of his voice saying more than just a few words. 

He works in the store and thinks about what his soulmate would buy if he walked through the doors. He does his homework and wonders what his soulmate is like at school- is he a good student? Why was he buying weed that day? To rebel against his rich parents? He thinks about the little birthmarks he’d noticed on his soulmate’s face. He wants to know those marks by heart.

He feels like he’s constantly lost in his own world, equal parts pining and sullen. He hopes he’s hiding it well, not sure what he’d say if anyone asked what was wrong. Thankfully none of his family seems to have noticed a change in his behavior these past few days. And that’s how it needs to stay if he has any hope of keeping this a secret. 

What makes it all worse for Omar is that not long after he bonds with the kid at the reservoir, Nadia meets her soulmate at her posh new school. Some loaded white guy named Guzman. Her first words to him- _If only._ \- run along his shoulder blade. And she’d never explained to them just what her soulmark, cramped print circling her wrist, had ended up meaning- _Hello. Sorry about yesterday. We thought we were alone._

According to Nadia, Guzman’s ex-girlfriend gives her a hard time at school. But Nadia deals with it with minimal complaints- she’s still feeling the rush of having just found her soulmate. Their relationship is interesting, from what Omar can tell the few times he’s been around them together. She’s a little standoff-ish with him. Apparently he’d been pretty terrible to her before they ever spoke. And he’s still learning how to act around someone so different from him, trying to win Nadia over after being a jerk to her in the beginning. But they’re figuring it out together, and Omar knows Nadia will come around- he can tell by the way her eyes shine when she mentions him. 

Their parents aren’t happy about Guzman- he’s not a nice Muslim boy. But they reluctantly accept him, when he comes to the store and talks with Mama and Baba and they break bread and he gets down on his knees to apologize for how he’d treated Nadia. But now they’re even more adamant about Omar meeting a Muslim girl. 

It’s like they’re hoping they can force him to bond with a girl of their choosing if they set up enough Introductions. Omar can’t stand the arranged meetings with the daughters of his parents’ friends from the mosque. It’s always so awkward, being forced into a stilted gathering over tea, the parents looking on in hopeful anticipation as they greet each other, and then swift disappointment when their first words don’t match their marks and they don’t bond.

Omar has always known the Introductions wouldn’t result in a bond for him. His parents were only setting him up with girls, after all. But now that he had bonded, the Introductions were even more pointless than they’d ever been. They just made him think even more about Christian’s cute friend from the bridge that day. His heart ached with longing for his soulmate, no matter how much he tried to push the whole thing to the back of his mind.

\- Ander -

The pot had given him the courage to download the hookup app, but the drinks at Marina’s coming out party give him the nerve to actually agree to meet up with a guy who messages him. 

It’s so cold on the walk to the bridges outside of town, but Ander hardly feels it with the adrenaline coursing through his veins at the prospect of finally meeting up with a guy. 

He takes a deep breath as he descends the stairs to the meeting point. Ander pauses when he sees the boy waiting, back to him and leaning on the guardrail. It’s dark, only the dim yellow streetlight illuminating the area. This is it. A boy. He’s definitely going to kiss this boy. Maybe more. Probably more. 

“Hey,” he calls out as he approaches.

Ander recognizes the dealer instantly when he turns to face him. 

\- Omar -

Of course it’s his soulmate. The universe can’t just give him a break can it? Omar had only wanted to try to hook up with someone to see if he could momentarily get the pretty boy he’d bonded with off his mind. He thought if he could just be with someone else, touch some other guy, maybe he could prove to himself that it was possible to go back to his old life, before this whole mess. 

Looking into the confused eyes of the boy, Omar’s heart pounds. He feels drawn to him, like a piece of metal being helplessly pulled toward a magnet. Everything inside of him wants to move closer, to actually meet this boy, to get to know him. But he can’t deal with this right now. If Omar lets himself have him, _his soulmate_ , there’s no way he’ll be able to go back to his normal life of secret hookups with random guys and formal Introductions set up by his parents. He needs to get out of here before he does something he can’t come back from.

He does give in the tiniest bit though and lets himself brush against the boy’s shoulder as he moves swiftly past him. That touch, through jackets and clothes and so fleeting, still sends electricity surging to every nerve ending in his body. 

\- Ander -

A few days later, Ander texts the dealer while he’s at lunch with Guzman and Polo. He hasn’t been able to get their aborted meet up off his mind. _Why had he run away?_ He’s curious, but also pretty sure the guy won’t text him back- he’d obviously recognized Ander and been freaked out about it. It doesn’t hurt to try though. Hey, if he does text him back, then Ander can kill two birds with one stone- he can see the attractive guy he’d messaged with on the app- _Who would have guessed the cute dealer he’d met the other day was hiding such a nice body under his baggy clothes?_ \- and he can get some more pot.

When he does get a text back, he tells his friends he has to go train and heads back to the bridges. 

\- Omar -

Omar gets the text and just can’t make himself resist anymore. He’s fooling himself if he thinks he can keep away from his soulmate forever. Maybe he can just see him- get a fix. Feel that dizzying sense of belonging and the aching pull from being near him. 

He heads to the reservoir, thinking. _Should he say something?_ If he did, the boy would know that Omar was his soulmate. He wondered what his soulmate’s mark said. Omar had the strange passing thought that he could actually decide now. Because of the weird way this had all worked out, with him knowing who his soulmate was and the other boy having no idea, he could choose the first words he would say to his soulmate in advance. He could choose the words that will have marked the boy’s skin for his whole life. 

Maybe he could say something sweet and encouraging and kind. Even if Omar couldn’t really be there for him yet because of the whole situation with his parents, maybe Omar’s words and his mark could be there for him in some way?

In the end, the whole thought is kind of staggering. It feels like too much pressure, too unnatural and overwhelming to try and remember some scripted words. He pushes the thought aside and takes a deep breath. For once he’ll just try to live in the moment and see what happens when they meet up again.

\- Ander -

“Hey.” 

_Here we go again._ Ander turns around at the greeting, fleeting thoughts of the very first word on his rib crossing his mind.

“How much do you want?” Now that gets the hairs on the back of his neck rising. But it could still be a coincidence. He pulls his wallet out, plucking out some money and swapping it with the pot the dealer hands him. “It’s good, you’ll see.” Ander feels a little dizzy and is it just him or are the familiar lines of script on his ribcage kind of burning? _This is it._ He pulls the joint out of his mouth in stunned silence.

It feels like the whole world has come to a halt and his feet are planted to the ground. He’s frozen in place, his heart pounding. In all his dreaming, he’d never imagined he’d bond while he’s buying drugs from some guy he’s already met twice before. Had the dealer really not said anything during those last couple meetings? Ander thinks back and realizes, no- he’d talked to Christian that first time, but not Ander. And the second time, down below the bridges after they’d matched on the hookup app, the boy hadn’t gotten a word out before he’d bolted. 

Ander looks at him, and his heart is too big for his chest. The world is narrowing in to just this boy and this grungy bridge. Then, before he can get his brain back on track enough to string a sentence together, the dealer turns around quickly and starts heading the other way. Ander can’t believe it for a second. _Is his soulmate really walking away without another word after they just bonded?_

_His soulmate_ , he thinks. 

_His soulmate is a drug dealer who keeps running away from him._

“Hey!” Ander calls after him. He needs to get him to stay this time. “We can share this one if you want.”

The other guy turns, looking nervously back at Ander over his shoulder. He walks back toward him, and Ander can see the caution on his face.

“I’m Ander.”

“Omar.”

They smoke in silence for a couple minutes. Ander’s mind is racing, trying to figure out what to say to this person- Omar. _His soulmate!_ He can’t help but wonder if it’s always this weird for people or if he’s just uniquely awkward. Should he be having such a hard time figuring out what to say? Mostly he just wants to know why Omar hadn’t told him- hadn’t said anything about it at all. _He must know, right?_ Ander is sure he’d talked to him, however briefly, during that very first encounter not far from here on the bridge. 

He glances over at Omar, taking in his jawline and his prominent eyebrows and his lanky frame. _He’s perfect_ , Ander thinks. He wants to know everything about Omar. _Why does keep running away? Why does he look so hesitant, even now?_ He’s eager to talk with him, but doesn’t want to scare him away again.

“Can I ask you a question?” Ander finally pushes out. 

Omar looks at him uneasily. “If it’s about the other night, I-“ He cuts himself off. 

“Why didn’t you say anything? You felt it, right? You had to.” Ander tries push down the little twinge of hurt, the fear of rejection. _Was there something so wrong with him that his soulmate wouldn’t even want to tell him he’d bonded with Ander?_

“Of course I felt it. Look, let’s just-“ Omar looks frustrated as he stumbles over his words. “Come on.” Omar grabs his wrist and pulls Ander behind him as he starts walking towards a staircase that leads down to a more secluded area. Ander grabs his tennis bag and follows Omar, heart pounding at the feeling of Omar’s fingers wrapped around his forearm. 

They plop down onto a dirty bench and face each other. Silence closes in around them as Ander’s eyes hungrily search Omar again, drinking in new details. He notices a small scar on Omar’s forehead. He wants to know how he got it. Learning to ride his bike? A fight? A clumsy sibling hitting him with a toy when he was young? Before Ander can find the words to ask him, Omar starts talking.

“Look, Ander.” Ander loves the way his name sounds coming from Omar’s lips. “I knew right away that first day that you were my soulmate. But-“ He looks conflicted. “My family is really conservative. They don’t even know I’m gay, let alone that I deal. And they don’t believe in gay soulbonds.”

Ander’s eyes widen. He’s stunned. “They don’t believe in same sex soulmates? That’s absurd.” He feels fury rising inside him like a tidal wave at the thought that his soulmate has such an intolerant family. He already feels so protective of Omar. His eyes glance back to the scar on Omar’s forehead, unable to keep himself from wondering at other, more sinister origins. 

“I know. They’re really religious, and they set up all these Introductions with girls from the mosque. They can’t know about this.” Omar is looking down, wringing his hands.

“You want to keep our bond a secret?” Ander is baffled. “How would that even work?” His thoughts start racing over their past few interactions, adding things up. “Is that why you left so quickly? Were you just planning on never seeing me or telling me?”

“I’m sorry,” Omar tells him. Ander can hear the distress burdening his voice. “I didn’t mean to hurt you or make you think you don’t mean anything to me. I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since that first day. And when I realized it was you when we matched on the hookup app- I just panicked.”

There’s a war happening behind Omar’s eyes. He looks so dejected, but also so earnest. Like he really does feel bad about not telling Ander, and he just needs Ander to understand.

Ander tries to put himself in Omar’s shoes and can’t even really imagine what he’s been going through. “With parents like that, I can see why you reacted that way.” He gives Omar a considering look. “Does this mean we can’t see each other though? I don’t know if I can do that, Omar. Not now that we’ve met and bonded and I know who you are.” Ander gravitates closer to him on the bench. “It just feels _right_ to be around you.” Ander’s voice is low, almost a whisper. He hesitates, then can’t hold back the desire to be even closer. “Can I-“ He glances down at Omar’s lips, then looks into Omar’s eyes, questioning, leaning into Omar’s space. 

His skin buzzes at the closeness of Omar, and his heart swells with the yearning he can see in Omar’s eyes as he looks back at Ander. Omar gives the slightest of nods. Ander closes the distance between them and presses a tentative kiss to Omar’s lips. Omar responds immediately, leaning into the kiss. It’s soft and tender, and Ander is somehow surprised at the vast, too-big-for-his-chest emotions that start rising up inside him. He pulls back abruptly, searching Omar’s eyes. 

This really is his soulmate. He’d really found him. He’s not sure how he knows, but something inside him is so certain. It doesn’t feel like he’s suddenly whole- the way some people say. It’s not that a piece of him was missing and now he’s found it. It’s more like coming home. He feels like he’s been holding this tension inside him, bearing a weight on his back, and now, at Omar’s touch, his body has finally relaxed. Like taking off a pair of uncomfortable shoes or easing his school bag off his shoulder and slipping under the covers at the end of a long day. He sees his wonder mirrored in Omar’s eyes and leans back in to kiss him again.

Omar’s hands come up to cup his jaw, and Ander can’t help but smile into the kiss, pulling Omar closer. The tension between them builds, and Omar climbs onto his lap. They kiss desperately for long minutes. Ander kind of can’t believe it, they’re surrounded by graffiti and overgrown weeds and it’s fucking freezing and they’re sitting on this dirty bench, but he’s never felt something this pure. He just soaks in the absolute peace of this moment, the feeling from his head to his hands to his toes tingling in his shoes to the depths of his soul that this is right.

They barely know each other, but Ander is sure that this is just the start. 

The emotions coursing through him start to overwhelm him. He’s never even kissed another guy before, had only just gotten up the courage to try a gay hookup app- with the help of pot and beer and the champagne at Marina’s party, and now here he is kissing his soulmate. He starts to feel too warm and kind of dizzy and his throat gets a little tight. His lips aren’t working right anymore, and Omar notices and pulls away. “Are you okay? Ander?”

“I just…I don’t know. It’s just so much.” Embarrassment blooms in his stomach and he can feel his cheeks flush. 

“We can stop,” Omar is quick to say. “Let’s slow down. We can just talk for a while.” Omar slides off his lap back onto the bench next to him. 

Ander feels kind of stupid now, _did he just mess everything up?_ He slowly reaches out to Omar’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “Is this alright?”

Omar nods in agreement. Ander already loves touching him. It’s addictive. 

He doesn’t know how long they sit there, holding hands and talking. Ander caresses the back of Omar’s hand with his thumb, soaking in the contentment of really being with soulmate for the first time. 

He learns that Omar is actually Nadia’s brother and tells Omar about Guzman- that he’s a good guy, he has strong opinions and can be rash sometimes, but he means well. Guzman truly cares about Nadia, that much is clear from how he talks about her, Ander tries to assure Omar. 

Ander can’t believe the coincidence- his best friend is soulmates with his soulmate’s sister? It’s kind of hard to wrap his mind around the tangled web, but it also seems fitting. He finds it comforting in an odd way- like the universe was making sure he and Omar would cross paths one way or another. 

Before Ander has to leave and Omar has to head back to his family’s store, Ander agrees to keep their bond quiet for a little while. He’s hesitant- can he really keep something this life-changing under wraps while Omar tries to make enough money to leave his family? But he knows Omar is worth the wait, and he respects that Omar is stuck in a terrible situation. 

Eventually the boys say goodbye, Ander leaning in for a short, sweet kiss before they separate. They both head home, skin tingling where they’d touched, thoughts consumed with each other.

-  
**Ander:** I take back every nice thing I told you about Guzman. He told my father about the pot. Can’t believe that asshole!  
_Omar:_ Did you get in trouble??  
**Ander:** I’m grounded. My father was mostly pissed that it could ruin my fucking tennis career.  
_Omar:_ You play tennis?  
**Ander:** It’s funny how much we don’t know about each other. It already feels like I’ve known you forever. Or at least I’ve been waiting for you that long.  
**Ander:** Yes, I play tennis and I’m really fucking good at it. But I hate it.  
**Ander:** I’ve never told anyone that before.  
_Omar:_ Thanks for telling me. You know you can tell me anything, right?  
_Omar:_ You’re secretly kind of a sap, aren’t you?  
_Omar:_ Also, if you hate tennis so much, why don’t you just quit?  
**Ander:** I’m only a sap for you- don’t let it get out.  
**Ander:** Tennis is the only thing I’m good at. And it’d break my dad’s heart if I quit.  
_Omar:_ Believe it or not, no one dies from a broken heart. You’ll find something else to be good at.

– Ander -

Christian tells him there’s a party at Samuel’s house and his dealer friend will be there. Ander knew Omar was going to a party tonight, and now he has a reason to go see him.

He’s nervous walking in, and Samuel doesn’t seem happy when he notices Ander. He considers Ander and the bottle he’d brought as a peace offering. He seems to quickly make up his mind and takes him into the kitchen to meet his friends. When Ander’s eyes meet Omar’s, he can’t help but shoot him a shy smile. It’s so good to just be in the same room as him. He feels like he’s been on edge for the past few days and finally his world is righting itself.

Samuel leads him over to the corner, talking loudly over the noise of the crowd and the music. “Omar. This is my friend, Omar. Ander. He’s in my class, but fortunately, he’s not a leader of tomorrow.”

When Samuel has left, Ander crowds closer to him. Omar smiles, but softly chides him. “Be careful, Samuel doesn’t know about me. No one can know.” 

Ander leans over him, grabbing a beer and savoring the excuse to be in Omar’s proximity. It’s driving him crazy to be so near to Omar without being allowed to touch him. He says as much and Omar chuckles. “Come,” he says and heads out of the kitchen. Ander shuffles behind and thinks he would follow Omar anywhere; all he has to do is ask.

Ander follows him to the bathroom and fumbles to quickly lock the door behind them. Before Omar can say anything, Ander surges forward and kisses him. Omar responds in kind, kissing back, hands reaching up to comb through his hair as Ander steps forward, pressing him back to lean against the wall. 

“I’ve missed you,” Ander pants as he pulls away. 

Being with Omar just makes everything feel a little heightened, a little more. Omar’s a little more in focus than the rest of the world.

Unfortunately they can’t hide in the bathroom all night making out, but when they subtly emerge from the bathroom and blend back into the crowd, Ander feels a little more centered now that he’s gotten the chance to touch Omar. 

They spend most of the night in the kitchen, chatting with Nano and Christian and whoever else passes through looking for drinks. Ander soaks in the opportunity to just spend time with Omar, learning more about him and seeing how he is around his friends. His heart swells with each new piece of Omar he discovers. 

It’s mostly a good night, a great night even, until Nadia comes in with Guzman. He ends up raging and confronts them about the drugs and Marina being there and Ander lying to him to go to the party. And yeah, maybe Ander is a little bit high- he’d drank some of the punch when Omar was off talking to Samuel and only later found out it was spiked with pills. So sure, he was feeling pretty on top of the world, and now he’s fucking pissed at Guzman for trying to control his life again. And also for ruining this rare chance to be around Omar. 

He looks back at Omar as he storms out of the party and shrugs in apology. He just needs to get some air. Once he’s walked off his rage and settles down on some steps for a minute, he texts Omar and sighs. Great, now it’s drizzling, and he’s annoyed at Guzman and also kind of irritated at himself for losing his temper and leaving because now he doesn’t even know when he’ll get to see Omar again-

“Hey, you okay?” 

Ander startles and feels a little twinge of affection in his chest when he twists around to see Omar coming down the steps behind him. He kneels down in front of where Ander’s sitting. “You seemed pretty upset. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Ander reaches out, grabs Omar’s wrist. Omar indulges him for a second, then pulls his hand away, looking around for potential onlookers. 

Ander heaves a frustrated sigh. He already hates having to curb his desire to touch Omar whenever they’re together. 

“I’m okay, just pissed at Guzman. I needed some air. He’s worse than my dad. And it’s not like I even meant to get high tonight.”

Omar nods, eyes soft with understanding. “Come on, let’s get you home and out of this rain. We have to be careful, though. I know he’s your friend, but he threatened me. If they find out about me, if any of this gets out…” Ander reaches out for him again and Omar looks pained when he pulls his hand away. “It’ll ruin my life.”

Ander’s thoughts are racing, muddled from the high. But it feels like Omar is pulling away from more than just his touch. Ander vows to himself that he’ll do whatever he can to keep Omar from feeling like he has to run away again.

-  
**Ander:** There’s a benefit party thing tonight- come meet me? I want to see you.  
_Omar:_ I can’t just show up at a fancy party, Ander. People will see us.  
**Ander:** I know some hideouts. Just come.  
_Omar:_ …  
_Omar:_ Fine. But only because I want to see you, too. And only for a little bit. These better be good hideouts.

-  
**Ander:** Hey, what’s up? Are you okay? I haven’t heard much from you today.  
_Omar:_ Yeah, just- Samuel found out about me dealing and was an asshole about. I’m just still mad about it.  
**Ander:** What happened? He’s not going to tell anyone about it right?  
_Omar:_ No, he knows my family would kill me.

\- Omar - 

Omar is still kind of pissed at Samuel for being so judgmental about him dealing. But when Samuel comes to the store to apologize, Omar lets it go. It’s always been hard to stay mad at Samuel, with his puppy dog eyes and well-meaning nature. 

“Is there anything you want to tell me?” Samuel asks. His knowing look makes Omar feel suspicious. Why is he looking at him like that? What else could he possibly know?

“Me? No…” Omar says quickly.

Samu’s eyes soften, and he leans back against the window. “I saw you and Ander the other night, at the benefit party.” 

Omar’s pulse quickens, and he shoots a sideways glance toward Samuel. 

Samuel is quick to continue. “It’s cool, man, no big deal. You could have told me you had a boyfriend, you know?”

Okay, so he knows. There’s no going back from this if he saw them. Omar hesitates and then sighs, shoulders drooping, releasing tension he hadn’t known he was holding. He wants to talk to Samuel about this, he realizes. If he’s going to come clean with his friend about being gay, he might as well let the rest out too. Omar glances around, making sure his family is distracted inside and that the door to the store is closed.

“Yeah. I guess I never thought you specifically would have a problem with it. But you know how my family is, man. I couldn’t really risk telling anyone.”

Samu nods in understanding and looks like he might start saying something, but now that Omar is finally talking about this with his best friend, he can’t stop more from spilling out. 

“He’s…uh-“ Omar cuts himself off, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. He’s never actually said this out loud before. “Ander isn’t my boyfriend. Well, I mean he’s not just my boyfriend. He’s my soulmate.”

Samu’s eyes widen, and his lips pull back in a grin. “Dude! Are you serious? How long have you known? How could you keep that so quiet?” Samuel playfully slaps his chest with the back of his hand.

A weight lifts off Omar’s chest as he tells his friend about meeting Ander, freaking out and trying to keep it to himself, and eventually giving in and going to meet Ander again, letting him know that they’re soulmates. Samuel is attentive the whole time, asking questions, exclaiming, generally seeming so excited for Omar that he almost wonders why he’d kept it a secret from Samuel in the first place. Omar relaxes into the conversation, so relieved to finally be talking about all of this, sharing the burden of this secret with his friend. 

Samuel is still peppering him with questions about what it felt like to meet his soulmate when Omar’s phone chimes with a text. 

**Ander:** Are we still on to meet this afternoon at the bar?

Samuel tries to read over his shoulder. “Who is it? It that Ander?” He says playfully, trying to grab at Omar’s phone. 

Omar evades, trying to hide the message. “Shut up, asshole!” 

Samuel reaches towards him again, and Omar laughs as they playfully jab back and forth. It feels so good to be able to joke around with his best friend, having Samuel tease him about how he blushes when his soulmate texts him, just like any other teenager.

Omar shakes him off and tells Samuel he’ll see him later as he heads back into the shop.

 _Omar:_ Yeah, I’ll see you there in 15 minutes.  
_Omar:_ I just saw Samuel, and…I told him about us. He saw us at the party and asked me about it. I guess your hideout wasn’t so great after all.  
**Ander:** You told him? How did it go?  
_Omar:_ He was cool about it. It actually felt really good to finally be able to talk about it with someone.  
**Ander:** That’s great, man.  
**Ander:** Is it okay if I tell Guzman? He’s been on me about how I’ve been lying to him and keeping things from him lately.  
_Omar:_ Yeah, I guess it’d be hypocritical of me to tell you not to tell your friends. But we still need to keep this quiet- he can’t tell anyone okay? My parents can’t find out.

\- Omar -

Omar feels a rush of affection when he sees Ander waiting for him at the gay bar. The music is loud, and the place is crowded, so they sit close to hear each other talk. It’s completely novel, being this close to each other in public without having to constantly look over his shoulder. Omar is a strange mix of giddy and queasy at the thought. 

Sitting here at this gay bar with his male soulmate, having just come out to his best friend, Omar feels like this secret, this card he’s held so close to his chest, even long before Ander was ever in the picture, is laid out on the table for others to see now. He’ll never be able to pick it back up and hide it from sight again. He’s not sure if he would even want to. 

But the thought of Ander’s plans to tell Guzman do have Omar sweating a bit. It wouldn’t be fair to ask Ander to keep this from his best friend. Not now that Omar knows how good it feels to have told Samuel- like a wall Omar had put up between himself and his best friend has finally fallen. It’s so freeing to be truly known. Omar doesn’t want to keep Ander from having that freedom. So he takes a deep breath and looks over at Ander next to him and tries to just let himself trust. 

He watches Ander order them drinks and realizes that trusting him, this boy he hasn’t even known that long, isn’t as hard as he thought it would be. He feels safe leaving himself in Ander’s hands, knows somehow intrinsically that Ander would never purposefully hurt him. 

Omar is slowly starting to grasp how different Ander is with him, compared to everyone else. He doesn’t get to see Ander around other people often- they mostly steal quick moments for coffee or to sit in the park when Omar can get away from the shop. 

But Omar is always noticing things about Ander. And with the other people at Samuel’s party or the waiter here at the bar, Ander is so confident, so sure of himself. He can be moody, and he’s not afraid to be a little aggressive. But with Omar, he’s gentle and earnest and sweet. It makes Omar feel warm inside to think about, that he’s special to Ander. 

Sure, he’s Ander’s soulmate- of course he’s special to him. But not all soulmates end up together. Sometimes the whole thing is too intense, it sparks and then flames out. Lots of people date before meeting their soulmate, and some people even fall in love and try to keep their relationship going after one or both of them meet their soulmate. For some people, soulmates can be platonic. 

But the fact that Ander treats him so differently, so carefully… Omar can tell how much he means to Ander, can’t help but believe that this boy truly cares about him. He can’t wipe the soft, stupid smile off his face whenever he thinks about. 

\- Ander -

After leaving the bar, Ander heads over to Guzman’s. Marina lets him in, and Ander feels weirdly like he’s bracing himself as walks toward Guzman’s room. He knocks quickly and pushes open the door. Guzman looks up from his computer at the sound of Ander entering and pauses typing. 

“Hey man, I didn’t know you were coming over. What’s up?”

“Hey Guzman,” Ander says, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Ander’s not sure why he feels so nervous about this. Guzman already knows he’s gay. But this feels more personal, like showing him a piece of his actual soul. He takes a deep breath and looks down at his hands. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” 

Guzman furrows his brow, spinning around in his chair to face Ander. “Well we said we were going to talk more, you know? So what’s up, dude?”

“So the other day in the locker room, when you said no one cares if I like guys? You knew because you saw me and Omar at the benefit thing, right? He said you and Samuel saw us.”

“Yeah, we saw you. And you could have told me.” Guzman’s eyebrows furrow like he’s angry, but Ander’s always been able to read him. Underneath the irritation at being left in the dark, Guzman seems hurt that Ander would keep something from him.

“I know! It was just- something that I was still figuring out, you know? It felt good to have this thing that was just for me. He’s the first guy I’ve hooked up with.”

“Really? He’s a dealer. Can’t you find someone else to be with? You know how I feel about the drugs, dude.”

“Yeah, but uh… he’s more than that. I mean, that’s how we met. But Guzman, he’s-“ Ander’s mouth is so dry, and he needs to just get this out. “Omar is my soulmate.” 

Guzman’s eyes widen and his jaw drops open a little. “Wow. Damn. I wasn’t expecting that.”

Ander huffs out a little laugh, “Yeah, me neither, dude. But he is. And he’s kind of amazing.” Ander knows his tone is getting embarrassingly soft, but he can’t help it. “He only deals because he needs money to leave his parents’ house- you know them, you know how they are- they’re super religious. They don’t believe in gay soulbonds.”

“Fuck, man. They barely accepted me being with Nadia. I can’t imagine what they’d be like if they found out about you and Omar.” Guzman’s tone hardens and a warmth pools in Ander’s chest when he realizes his friend’s anger has shifted. He seems to be getting angry _for_ them now, protective of him and maybe even of Omar by extension.

“Yeah, it fucking sucks. He’s miserable living there, but that’s why he sells. And I’m not going to keep doing drugs, okay? So you can stop worrying about all of that. But you need to keep this a secret.” Ander tries to stress this part, knowing how important it is to Omar. “I don’t even think Nadia knows, okay? It can’t get back to Omar’s parents- they can’t know until he’s ready to leave.”

Guzman expression wavers a bit, but he nods and reaches out to put a hand on Ander’s shoulder. “I don’t like the idea of keeping things from Nadia. But I’ve got your back, man.”

-  
**Ander:** Come have dinner with my friends.  
_Omar:_ What? We can’t do that, Ander. People will see us.  
**Ander:** It’s just Guzman and Polo- they already know. It’s fine.  
_Omar:_ No. I can’t.  
**Ander:** I don’t know why you’re being like this.  
_Omar:_ It feels like too many people know already.  
**Ander:** I just want to spend time with you, Omar. I know people can’t know we’re together, but why can’t we even be in public together? We can make it look like we’re just friends.  
**Ander:** My friends want to know you. Since you’re so important to me.  
**Ander:** Please?  
_Omar:_ …okay, fine. It’s hard to say no when you’re being so sweet.  
_Omar:_ But no touching. I mean it.  
Ander: I’ll try.  
_Omar:_ Ander…  
**Ander:** Just kidding! Okay, I promise. 

-  
**Ander:** Omar, my mom knows about you dealing. I don’t know how, but I guess Marina got caught with pot and told them you sold it to her.  
_Omar:_ What the fuck, man? Are you serious?  
**Ander:** Yeah, my mom called me to her office during school and asked if you were the one who sold to me. I told her no, of course, but she said she’s going to talk to your parents.  
_Omar:_ My parents? Oh shit, Ander. They can’t find out. What am I going to do?  
**Ander:** I’ll try and talk to Marina. Maybe she can say she got mixed up? Or she lied to protect someone else?

-  
**Ander:** I’m really sorry. I tried.

\- Omar -

Omar’s parents are furious when they find out about the drugs. He’s never seen them like this, at least not directed at him. He’s had nightmares about it for as long as he can remember- ever since he realized he liked boys. But he never imagined this is the secret that would have his father exploding at him. 

The thing is, he’s never wanted to disappoint them. They’re his parents- they raised him, they feed him, they worry about him. Omar loves them. He’s always just wanted them to be proud of him and to accept him for who he is. It just got to a point where he realized that was probably never going to happen. And knowing that, that his parents’ love is conditional upon him being the boy they want and expect him to be- it breaks Omar’s heart. 

The emptiness leaves an ache inside his chest when he thinks about it- when he looks over from the cash register at his dad, humming while he puts out the new shipment of oranges. When his mom cooks dinner and softly asks about his day, he can’t help but wonder- would it be so hard for them to just…still love him? If they knew? The knowledge that yes, it would actually be a struggle for them to love and accept him if they really knew him keeps him up at night sometimes. 

And now he’s disappointed them for yet another reason. Omar knows he’s close to reaching his limit. They’ve taken his phone, grounded him for the foreseeable future, and expect him to be working in the store during any and all free time he has. 

He’s suffocating. 

-  
**Ander:** Are you okay, Omar?  
**Ander:** How did it go with your parents?  
**Ander:** That was a stupid question. I’m sure it wasn’t good.  
**Ander:** Just let me know that you’re okay.

-  
**Ander:** Omar?

\- Ander -

Ander can feel his stress levels rising as the days pass and he hasn’t heard from Omar. When he finally can’t take the frantic, panicky feeling in his gut anymore, he stops by the store and finds out Omar’s parents took his phone.

His lungs feel like they’re collapsing inside his chest, stealing his breath when Omar tells him they can’t meet up any time soon. Omar looks miserable- stressed and sad around the eyes- which is one of the reasons Ander can’t fathom why Omar won’t just leave with him. 

It feels like Omar is choosing his family over Ander, and Ander doesn’t understand at all. How could Omar choose these people who will never take him for who he is, who love him on the condition that he does what they say and that he’s straight… how can he choose them over Ander?

His eyes well with tears, looking at Omar over the counter, holding his arm to keep him from pulling back. But Omar pulls back anyway, ever conscious of his father’s presence. Ander clears his throat around the lump forming and tries to hold back the tears welling in his eyes. He turns and leaves the shop, thoughts racing with the uncertainty of when he’ll get to see Omar next. This feels too much like a goodbye. 

Walking away, Ander can almost hear his heartbeat, thudding heavy as the ache in his chest starts to twist into anger. _This doesn’t feel right. It shouldn’t be like this._

He knows Omar has feelings for him. They’re soulmates, they’re supposed to be together, they have a connection that science and religion and thousands of years of poetry hasn’t fully been able to explain. But it’s not just that. He knows that Omar actually likes being around him, too- likes joking with him, and kissing him and talking to him and texting him. And with the knowledge of all that, this rejection carries a painful heaviness. It’s breaking Ander’s heart.

\- Ander - 

He decides to write Omar a note and ask Nadia to give it to him. Guzman thinks she’ll do it, though he’s kept up his side of the promise, hasn’t told her about Ander and Omar. Ander is nervous that Omar will ignore the invitation, or not be able to get away from his father. But he has to try. 

Nadia looks surprised when Ander asks her to deliver the note to Omar, but she says she will. He tries not to let his heart get carried away hoping, but he knows he’s just fooling himself. His heart has been in Omar’s hands since he’d first spoken to Ander at the reservoir that day that feels so long ago now. No use pretending he has any control over it anymore. 

\- Omar -

“You really like him, huh?” 

Omar struggles with the emotions coursing through him. His shirt collar feels too tight and his eyes are starting to sting with unshed tears. He wasn’t surprised by his father’s plans to set up another Introduction with the daughter of one of their friends, but he’d never before felt quite so devastated at the thought. Holding Ander’s letter, imagining for a second a future where the two of them could actually be together, just made reality seem that little bit crueler. 

“Yeah,” Omar nodded, “but it’s more than that, Nadia.” He swallows around the lump in his throat. He looks up at his sister, and decides it’s now or never. Desperation bleeds into his voice. “He’s my soulmate. But I’ll never be able to be with him.”

“Your soulmate? You mean it, Omar?”

“Yes, Nadia, I wouldn’t lie about something like that.”

“Mama and Baba always said gay soulmates don’t really exist.” She looks down to the floor and then slowly raises her eyes back up to meet Omar’s. “But I can see how much he means to you. And how upset Ander was about not being able to see you when he gave me the note today.” She swallows, appears to gather her courage and smiles softly at him. “I believe you. He really is your soulmate.”

Omar’s heart pounds with relief, a smile starting in his eyes eventually breaks out on his lips. He knows how much it means that she believes him. She’s going against something their parents have ingrained in her for as long as she can remember. He’s moved by the trust she’s putting in him, by the way she’s willing to rethink something this big to support him. The joy rising in him feels like it’s cracking his face and his soul open, relief seeping out at finally being known by someone in his family and still having their support. They’ve never been that close, him and Nadia- not for a long time, just having grown apart as they grew up and she bought more into their parents’ authority and religion while he was questioning it all. Maybe this can be a new beginning for them. 

She grabs her phone and hands it to him. “Go to him. I’ll cover for you.”

Omar is overwhelmed with how much this all means to him. He pulls her into a hug, resting his face against her neck. She’s really trying, and he can’t thank her enough. 

\- Omar -

Ander’s watering the lawn when Omar walks up to his house. Seeing him like this, carefree and shirtless and just going about his life sends a small thrill through Omar. He wishes he could see Ander like this all the time.

As he leans on the fence, quietly observing before he makes his presence known, Omar notices Ander’s tattoos. They’re small, scattered over his chest and arms. Delicate, Omar thinks. Looking closer, he notices one that’s different from the rest- not a shape or design, but small lines of writing running up his ribs on his right side. His soulmark. A grin quirks up the corners of Omar’s lips and he’s helpless to stop it. He can’t take his eyes off his mark on Ander’s skin. He wants to look at it closer, wishes he could touch it. His heart skips a beat when he realizes he can.

“Hey,” he finally calls out, letting himself in through the gate and drawing Ander’s attention.

Ander turns to look at him, water dripping down from his hair, and smiles. “You came,” he says. He doesn’t sound surprised, but he does sound pleased to see Omar. “Want to go inside?” He nods his head towards the door to the house.

“Okay,” Omar says and follows Ander up the stairs, eyes catching on the freckles on Ander’s back. They walk inside, and the room is cozy. There’s natural light and indoor plants and it really feels like a home. Omar can’t fully appreciate it, finds himself nervously glancing around. He looks toward Ander, who’s already making his way across the room toweling off his hair. “Sure your parents aren’t here?” 

Ander drops his towel and walks back to Omar with a mischievous smile. Before Omar can say another word, Ander kisses him and kisses him and kisses him, pulls him close, reaches down and lifts Omar’s shirt off.

Omar pulls away and a soft chuckle rises from his throat. “Okay, I can see they’re not.”

They keep kissing as they make their way towards Ander’s room, shedding clothes, recklessly dropping them on the floor, falling onto his bed.

Omar wrenches away from Ander’s mouth to press kisses down his neck. He finds the small tattoos at Ander’s collarbone and then finally brushes his fingers over the words trailing across Ander’s ribs.

Ander looks down and smiles when he sees Omar tracing his soulmark. “I’ve always loved my mark,” he says, voice raspy and soft. He’s looking shyly up at Omar, but his eyes are twinkling. “I savored the words, of course- I knew they would help me find you one day. But I always liked your handwriting too. It looks so…careful. It’s small, precise.” Ander brings his hand up, sweeping his fingers over the sun and moon tattoos on chest. “It’s why my other tattoos look like this. I knew I wanted something small, simple- to match the aesthetic. I liked the idea that...” He pauses, cheeks flushing a little. “I liked thinking about how my soulmate- _you_ \- could still have an influence on me before I ever met you.” He clicks his tongue, looking away. “It’s stupid, I know.”

“No!” Omar puts a hand up to Ander’s cheek, pulling his face to look back at Omar. “It’s sweet. I like that.” 

Ander looks down again and this time his eyes catch on Omar’s mark. He reaches out to gently trace the words scrawled over Omar’s heart. Omar’s breath hitches. “Thank you, much obliged,” Ander repeats. “Sorry I didn’t give you much to go on. My mark is much more specific.”

That startles a soft laugh from Omar. “It worked, didn’t it?”

“True.” Ander smiles up at him. They can’t stop smiling, relishing this chance to be together and alone. “You know what?” Ander’s voice is gentle, and he cups Omar’s cheeks with both hands, resting his forehead against Omar’s. “I love you.”

Omar’s stomach swoops at the words, and there’s a searing twinge in his chest. He’s filled with emotion, watching Ander look at him with such reverence. He pulls Ander back in with a hand at the nape of his neck and presses a soft kiss to his lips. This boy makes him feel so raw and tender, like clean, washed clothes- twisted up and wrung out and then lovingly placed near the heater to dry instead of being put out to flap helplessly in the breeze. With Ander, he feels taken care of, he feels safe. It’s like the combined weight of all of his emotions- his feelings for Ander, finally being known and loved and accepted and free with someone- are tipping the scales at last, outweighing the fear and shame and guilt of not being who his parents want him to be.

It somehow feels superfluous to say it back, or like maybe the words wouldn’t even be enough to let Ander know the depth of his feelings for him. So Omar finds other ways to show him. 

– Ander -

He’s sitting at breakfast with his parents the next morning when his dad says, “We know you’re-”

“Gay,” his mom quickly cuts in, talking over his dad. 

_Oh, fuck._ Ander’s heart starts pounding in his chest, but he’s pretty sure he keeps a straight face as his parents say _they hadn’t looked at his computer_ and _you shouldn’t let it ruin your future_ and _there’s plenty of sponsors who’d love to work with a boy like you._

Irritation mixes in with the emotions already warring in Ander’s chest. He woke up this morning feeling wistful, already missing the safe, quiet island of time alone with Omar yesterday afternoon. It had felt like a stolen, secret moment just for the two of them. Until after, when Omar had been getting ready to leave. Pulling his clothes back on, he had admitted that his father had been pushing even more lately, since Ander’s mother had told him about the drug dealing. He was planning to set up another Introduction.

It had felt like a bubble bursting, like it was all for nothing- how they felt about each other, the fact that they were soulmates. None of it mattered so long as Omar was stuck in that house with his parents. 

So Ander had already been feeling pretty miserable and helpless this morning. And of course his dad would make this about fucking tennis. 

His mom is more supportive. She asks him about Omar as they get in the car to drive to school. 

“What’s his name?”

“His name’s Omar. But we can’t be together because his father’s from the Stone Age.”

He takes a deep breath and lets it out as he sits in the passenger’s seat and closes the door. There’s no way he could hide this from his mother- now that she knows he’s gay, that she’s apparently seen them together. He doesn’t even want to hide it. He turns to his mother. “He’s my soulmate.”

Her eyes widen. “Your soulmate? Really?” 

He nods and her whole face softens. Her eyes crinkle a little at the corners and her mouth tilts up in a gentle smile. “I’m so happy for you, that you found him. I want to meet him. Have him come by the house- when your father and I are home, this time.” She gives him a pointed look, but she’s still smiling, so he knows she can’t be that upset at having caught them yesterday.

“I don’t know, Mama. He doesn’t want people to know. His parents don’t believe in gay soulmates. Maybe you could talk to his father.”

“Me? I don’t know him.” She looks torn.

Ander throws her a considering glance. He’s too far in now though, and she’ll find out eventually anyway. “He’s Nadia’s brother.”

He can see on her face the second she realizes. “Omar? That Omar? The one who sells drugs? Your soulmate is a dealer?”

“He’s not a dealer, Mama! He used to deal because he needs money to get out of that house. Help us, please. He’s not lucky enough to have parents like you. Talk to his father.”

“I don’t know, Ander. It’s not my place to get involved in their family business- especially if they hold those beliefs. I don’t think I could change their minds.” She sounds upset, and she moves her hand over, touching Ander’s cheek. “Poor Omar. I’m sorry, Ander. If there’s anything else we can do- if he needs anything. Let me know.” The side of her mouth quirks up in a small smile. “Only you…So many guys out there, and your soulmate is a dealer. A dealer who’s Muslim and gay.”

He can’t help the chuckle that huffs from his throat.

\- Ander -

Ander’s mom makes him tell his dad that night at dinner, about Omar being his soulmate. He actually seems way more upset that Omar is the guy who sold Ander pot than the fact that Ander’s soulmate is a boy. He’s still clearly getting used to the fact that Ander’s gay, but his biggest concern now is that Omar is going to jeopardize his tennis career even further by giving him more drugs. 

Once Ander assures him that Omar isn’t selling anymore and promises that he won’t buy from anyone else, his father actually seems…well if not supportive, at least resigned. “Well, what am I going to do? You can’t deny soulmates,” he says. 

_If only that were true,_ Ander thinks miserably, a picture of Omar’s father flashing to the front of his mind. _If only._

\- Omar -

Now that Nadia knows, she seems willing to help Omar. She talks to their mother, gets him out of the Introduction. He can’t express to her how grateful he is to have her on his side, but he’s also holding his breath. It’s only a matter of time before his parents find another girl for him to meet.

-  
**Ander:** Something happened in school. Your father was meeting with my mom, and well…  
**Ander:** It was bad, Omar. I’m sorry. Is he home yet?  
**Ander:** Omar?  


\- Omar -

His phone pings with the sound of a new message, and Omar puts down the book he’s reading and reaches into his pocket to pull it out. The sound of footsteps thundering down the hall startles him before he can look at the new messages from Ander. He stands up from where he’s leaning against his bed in his and Nadia’s room as his father storms through the door with Nadia trailing quickly behind him. Confusion furrows Omar’s brow. He had suspected the meeting at Nadia’s school wouldn’t go well, but he hadn’t expected quite this level of seething rage. 

He still wasn’t fully aware of all the reasons behind his parents’ decision to pull Nadia out of Las Encinas- something about how she’s changed since going there, started behaving rebelliously. Omar privately thinks the changes probably have more to do with being soulmates with Guzman than the school itself, but he wasn’t about to challenge his father on this while he was already on shaky ground what with the drug dealing.

His father is almost spitting with anger as he approaches Omar. “You!” He screams, and Omar rears back as his father pushes into his space. “Tell me why you’re being slandered! Why do they think you like men?” 

Nadia tries to rush to his defense, but Omar can barely hear her. His vision is narrowing, his heart hammering in his chest. _Is this what a panic attack feels like? This feels like my worst nightmare._

Before Omar can take a breath to try to defend himself or even figure out what’s really happening, his father grabs him roughly by the arms and pulls him across the room, shoving him against the wall near the door. “Tell me it’s not true!” He screams. “Tell me!”

His father is shaking him now, and Omar feels like he might cry. His throat is clogged with the beginnings of tears and his mind races with panicked thoughts. _Did he see Ander and me somewhere? There’s no way, I was always cautious. Who could have told him? What am I going to do?_

When Omar can’t find any words, his father continues. “Tell me my son is not a homosexual.” 

Omar opens his mouth to deny it, but the words won’t come.

He thinks about Ander. Ander, his soulmate. Ander and the way he’s tried to be patient with Omar even though Omar knows how much Ander wants to be with him in public, his soft eyes when he rests his forehead against Omar’s before they have to leave each other and aren’t sure when they’ll be able to steal another moment together, how he’ll text him five times in a row or even send a handwritten note through his sister because he just wants to talk to Omar. He thinks about the way Ander’s face falls every time Omar mentions that his parents are setting up another Introduction.

He can’t do this anymore. It’s not like this is ever going to go away. He’s never going to be straight, never going to bond with some nice Muslim girl and get married. His parents are never going to accept him for who he is. And for once that doesn’t just make him sad and scared. It pisses him off.

He takes a deep breath and straightens up. He’s actually the same height as his father now. He’d never noticed, his father always a towering figure in his mind’s eye. 

“Yes, Baba. I am.” The words feel defiant rolling off his tongue. “And so what?”

His father recoils and the anger on his face morphs into disgust. “What?”

“Your son is a homosexual! And there’s nothing you can do about it! I always have been.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” his father dismisses him, turning his back to Omar. “You just haven’t met the right girl. Tomorrow we’ll see Fatima and her daughter. And if she’s not your soulmate, then we’ll set up another Introduction the next day. I’m not going to let anyone tarnish this family’s good name, even you.”

Omar stares at him in disbelief. His father is so deluded, so bigoted, that he can’t even hear what Omar has just told him.

“No.” Omar can’t actually think of the last time he told his father no. It’s equal parts empowering and terrifying. “I already found my soulmate. And he accepts me for who I am! Unlike you. This is why I knew I could never tell you! Because your love is conditional on me following your rules. But I won’t anymore.”

Omar’s mother has come to the doorway, drawn by the yelling and commotion. She looks horrified at the scene- Omar standing tall, talking back to his father, and Yusef, fuming, advancing towards Omar again.

“You ungrateful boy! After everything we’ve done for you, this is how you repay us? You never change! First you’re a drug dealer and now this?” His voice is loud as he closes in on Omar, hand lifting. Omar flinches back as his father grabs his throat and shoves him to the side. “Get out!”

“Yusef, please don’t do this,” his mother pleads from the doorway.

“Go, and don’t come back. Go!”

Omar’s suddenly struck by the reality of what’s happening. It’s like ice water being poured over him, mixing his anger with a desperate surge of fear. _What have I done? Is this really happening? Almost every decision I’ve ever made was to keep this from happening._

Tears rush to his eyes, and when he glances over at Nadia he can see she’s already quietly crying. 

He takes one last look at his father, fury transforming him into someone Omar barely recognizes as the man who raised him. Then he turns, brushes past his mother, and leaves. 

\- Omar -

He wanders the streets near the store aimlessly for a few minutes, feeling almost despondent. _Where do I even go from here? Am I homeless now?_ He thinks about going to the reservoir and how lonely the bridges would feel. He thinks about going to Samuel’s. He knows Samu wouldn’t mind him staying over, but everything is always rocky at his place with Nano, and he doesn’t want to feel like a burden. 

And then he thinks of Ander. Of course. His mind is always ready to think of Ander, like he’s just on the tip of his tongue. When he remembers the unanswered messages from Ander on his phone, he stops on a street corner, resting against the cool bricks of a building to collect his thoughts and pull his phone from his pocket. _Ander will know what to do. He has to. He’s the only safe place I have left._

\- Ander -

Ander hears his phone chirp with a new message, but doesn’t have time to check if Omar’s gotten back to him. Right now, he needs to talk Guzman down from making a huge mistake going after Nano. He always tried to have his friend’s back, and he could understand Guzman’s burning desire to hit something after finding out Nano had gotten Marina pregnant. Yes, they were young and sure, Nano was not the kind of guy Guzman would have wanted for his sister, but they were soulmates. Ander couldn’t help but have a tiny bit of a soft spot for the star-crossed situation they had going on. 

So here he was again, trying to talk Guzman out of flying off the handle and indulging his base need to pound someone into the ground for messing with his sister. 

And like always, Guzman didn’t listen. It was funny how Guzman always expected everyone to listen to him, but he rarely listened to anyone else (usually Ander) trying to be the voice of reason for him. Every fight Ander had ever been in had started with Guzman. 

The whole thing is kind of a blur. One minute Guzman is yelling at Nano, stalking up to him with a baseball bat. The next, all hell breaks loose. Samu is punching Nano, Polo is going after Christian, and Ander is stuck swinging at some random thug friend of Nano’s. He’s on the ground when Guzman realizes how outnumbered they are and calls it. 

He leaps up, dodging away from Nano’s friends and follows after Guzman at a sprint. 

\- Omar -

When Ander doesn’t pick up, Omar decides to head toward Samuel’s, hoping things aren’t too crazy at his place. His thoughts swirl as he slowly makes his way down the side streets. _That actually just happened. There’s no going back now._

Every step away from the store is a stumbling, hesitant step into a new life- without the security of his parents’ home, without the support of their community. Without their rules and the Introductions and expectations. The despair inside him is heavy, but he’s surprised to feel the slightest easing of a weight that had been pressing down on his chest. His straining lungs don’t have to try so hard for the next breath. 

He’s contemplating this confusing mix of emotions when he hears the sounds of shouting and feet slapping on stone. Omar turns a corner, looking for the source of the commotion and freezes. Ander and Guzman are sprinting toward him, chased by a pack of guys Nano hangs around with. Ander’s eyes connect with Omar’s, and it feels like time slows down. Questions flit through his mind as Ander keeps running in what feels like slow motion, but before they can fully form, Ander is brushing past him and time speeds up again.

Omar turns without thinking and follows. Nano’s friends split up, some going after Guzman when he bolts down the steps to the right. Omar tries to keep up with the crew hunting for Ander, but there’s too many side streets to check, and he loses them. 

By the time he finds them again, the guys are smugly exiting an alleyway. He slows his pace, walking carefully by them as they stalk past, and then hurries to find Ander. 

He’s sprawled on the ground, unconscious and covered in blood. Omar’s heart drops, and a new weight crushes his chest. He slumps to the ground next to Ander, hands helplessly sweeping over his arms. Omar shakes Ander’s shoulders, calls his name, wills him to just wake up, open his eyes. The waning misery from his family’s rejection rises again, now joined by the distress of seeing his soulmate bleeding and splayed out on the ground before him. His eyes feel itchy with tears that he doesn’t want to let fall. His throat tightens. _This can’t be happening. I don’t think I can keep it together if something happens to you._

Omar swallows, and a few tears escape against his will. He looks down at Ander, clasps at the lapels of his school uniform with shaky hands, and he can’t help himself. “I love you.” His voice cracks with the confession. “I love you, damn it!” He’s sure Ander knows how he feels- how couldn’t he after all they’d already been through, the way they’d given themselves to each other? But if something were to happen to Ander, and Omar had never actually said the words…He’d never forgive himself. 

Ander finally started to stir, eyes opening and lips parting. His voice is gravelly when he eventually speaks. “Asshole. They had to kill me for you to say it.” He rolls his eyes, and his mouth quirks up into a small grin. 

Omar is both helplessly charmed and endlessly relieved to hear Ander’s voice. It isn’t until air rushes out of his chest that he realizes he was holding his breath. 

He hefts Ander up carefully and runs his hands over his face, inspecting his injuries. “Come on, we should get you cleaned up. Can we go to your place?”

\- Ander -

Ander’s parents are home, making something in the kitchen, when they walk in the door. They call out a greeting to Ander and do a double take when they notice not only is he not alone, but his face is covered in blood. Ander’s mother rushes over, asking “Ander? What happened? Are you okay?” Concern colors her voice, and she crowds in to look at his face. Out of the corner of his eye, Ander notices Omar shuffling to the side to let her get closer to Ander. 

“I’m fine, Mama. Just drama with Guzman. I’m okay.”

“Guzman did this to you?” She asks, surprised and sounding more worried than before.

“No. He found out Marina’s pregnant and went to go beat up the guy. I just got caught in the crossfire.” Ander gently extracts himself from his mother’s anxious hands and heads into the kitchen to clean off his face. His father hands him a wet towel and claps a hand onto his shoulder. Ander’s father can’t say anything approving of violence with his mother in the room, but Ander knows he must be proud that he’d stuck by his friend even if the situation came to blows. 

“You must be Omar.” Ander’s mother said, still standing near the door. Ander turned and saw Omar nod hesitantly. 

Ander strode back across the room towards them. “Yeah. Mama, Papa, this is Omar- my soulmate.” 

\- Omar – 

Ander’s parents greet him and invite him to come sit down at the table to learn more about him. Ander pulls him over and seems a little embarrassed by his mother’s enthusiasm, but he also looks a little pleased. Omar knows this is all Ander ever wanted- to be able to hold his hand in public and introduce Omar to the people who are important to him. The contrast between Ander’s parents’ acceptance and his own parents’ rejection is stark, and Omar is a mess of mixed emotions. 

“Omar, honey, what’s wrong? I can see something is weighing on you,” Ander’s mom says. Her expression is soft, and her voice is kind as she looks across the table at him. “Did something happen with your father? I’m sorry for what happened at the school today, things got out of hand, and I regret some of the things I said.” She seems genuinely sorry, and Omar just feels exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster of the last few hours. He’s not surprised to feel his throat getting tight at Ander’s mom’s sincere show of concern for him.

“My parents’ don’t believe in gay soulmates- I’m sure Ander’s told you. And after my father met with you at the school, he confronted me about it.” He swallows, and his mouth feels so dry. He tries to keep his voice from cracking with the tears he can feel fighting to be released. “I told him the truth, that Ander’s my soulmate. And…they kicked me out.” 

Ander squeezes his hand hard, anger pouring off him in waves. “Fuck!” He seethes.

“Ander!” Ander’s mother shoots him a look for the foul language, but her chastisement seems more habitual than genuine. She looks troubled at the news, exchanging glances with Ander’s father.

“You’ll stay here, then,” Ander says. “Right, Mama? Papa?”

Ander’s mother nods, and even his father joins in after a moment’s hesitation. “Yes, of course,” she says. “I can’t help but feel this is partly my fault. And you’re part of the family now, Omar- you have been since the moment you and Ander bonded. You will always be welcome in our home.”

Omar can’t help it when the tears finally slip down his cheeks.

\- Ander –

Hours later they’re laying in Ander’s bed, cuddled together. The house is quiet, and the silence covers them gently, like the quilts they have pulled up to their chests. This moment feels so safe. Like this bed, this room is on another planet- soft and peaceful and just for the two of them. Ander’s hand rests on Omar’s side, thumb gently sweeping over his skin, back and forth. 

They’ve been talking about nothing, trying unsuccessfully to keep from thinking too much about the trauma they’ve both been through today. Ander can’t stop imagining Omar being in the path of his father’s fury. Omar says he can’t help but see the image of Ander’s bloody face when his eyes blink closed.

It’s been quiet for a few minutes when Ander bites his lip and looks down, his thumb stilling on Omar’s side. “I wasn’t sure you would come. That day when I sent you the note.”

Surprised, Omar props himself up on his arm. “You didn’t think I would come?”

“No. I-“ Ander cuts himself off and looks away. “When I came to see you at the store, and you said you couldn’t…They took your phone. And I knew that you cared about me, but…” His thoughts are scattered, and this isn’t coming out right. He feels especially vulnerable with Omar’s eyes on him so attentive and curious. He wrangles his thoughts together. “It kind of seemed like you were choosing them. I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to see you again. I know it’s dumb- you didn’t choose to get grounded or have your phone taken away. But I was just afraid- it kind of felt like an ending.”

Omar’s eyes soften, and he lifts a hand to Ander’s face, stroking his cheek. His words come out slow, like he’s choosing each one carefully. “It was never about me not having feelings for you or not thinking you were worth it.” He swallows, and when he speaks again his voice is softer. “I was just- scared. All the time. I was just so fucking terrified of the fallout.”

“What happened? Why did you tell the truth today? You could have lied.”

“I don’t think I could have anymore. I didn’t want to. My worst fear came true- he was screaming, asking me about being gay. And all I could think about was you- how his love has always been based on a lie, but you’ve accepted me for who I am from the start. I just couldn’t be there, living in that lie anymore.”

Ander leans forward, pressing his forehead against Omar’s. He closes his eyes, soaking in the closeness, reveling in the knowledge that Omar is safe and here with him and not going anywhere. “No matter what happens, you’re the only thing that matters, Omar. I only want to be with you.” 

In the silence that follows, Ander opens his eyes and sees Omar staring back at him. Omar’s hand moves back from Ander’s cheek into his hair, pulling Ander’s face into his shoulder, wrapping his arms around Ander’s back to hug him close. “Me too, Ander. Me too.”  
-


End file.
